Dream Big 17

Fall has officially arrived. The air is getting cooler, and the leaves are changing from green to yellow, red, and brown. The days are growing shorter, and the nights are getting longer. In my household fall break is upon us. The kids are enjoying being out of school, sleeping in late, and passing their time with video games, and retro Bugs Bunny cartoons. I really wish I could do all of those things. I'm still getting up early and trying to do all that I do. I have been doing so much lately I've become behind in other things. I've slacked on my writing, and I'm wondering how I can make time for everything. I know I complain often about not having enough time in the day, and with good reason, because I don't have enough time. I need a clone. My life would be so much easier if there were two of me, ok, maybe three of me. Balancing work, kids, writing, and modeling can be quite exhausting, but I make time for it all. I even make the time in the day for my minimum two mile walk even if I don't have time for three. Sometimes I want to just sit down and read a book from cover to cover, but even getting passed chapter one is difficult. If my life were like a book I'd probably barely get passed chapter one in reality too. So many things to do in so little time. What I want to do, and what I get to do are two completely different things. And what makes it worse is that I am not an organized person, nor do I keep focused on one thing at a time. I'm more like, "hey squirrel", if anything else, I have the "ooh shiny", moments also. I try to jot down what I need to do in a constructive order that makes sense, but even that gets jumbled up. Did I mention I need a clone? Or even an assistant at this point, but I couldn't afford to pay someone enough to put up with me. *Laughs out loud* I have to admit I am my own little kind of crazy, and not just the crazy busy kind. I have a kinky kind of OCD, the kind which some people see as cute in a way, while others run screaming I'm sure. What can I say? I'm a Virgo, and that says enough in itself if you follow astrology. I have a unique way of what I call organization, and if somethings not in place I freak out. I'm the same way if the multitude of goals I'm trying to accomplish in one day doesn't fit in, I also freak out about. Why can't I just be normal? What is normal anyway? I most certainly am not. One of the worst habits I have is telling people I will do something, and then not following through with it. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I underestimated the amount of time in which I have to do it. For instance, I want to write more than I really have time to do so. I still lack writing a 250 word bio about myself. Why I find it so difficult to write about myself I haven't figured out yet, but it's right on up there with writing a synopsis for a 100k plus novel. Unless you're a writer, you won't get that analogy. So where am I going with all this? The truth of the matter is that I am only one person. I get distracted easily, I have kids, pets, a job, and no time for myself. Sometimes, I just want a nap. Since I won't be taking any naps any time soon, I'll be working on whittling down my list of the goals of the day, week, month, and year. Perhaps one day I'll be able to cross everything off in time to work on my bucket list, or at least before I feel I have to have a bucket list. I honestly can't seem to make real plans, or visualize where I'll be in five years. But, I am trying to get there. What I want to do, and what I have to do aren't part of my immediate goals, and most definitely not the same end goals either. Perhaps those future plans could include Bugs Bunny, and naps. Or at least sleeping in late. I know there are no naps scheduled today, but I may have a few minutes to day dream. Sometimes those dreams leads to creative things, and creative things leads to big dreams. I may not have enough of me to go around to make everyone else happy, though I do try. But I still have to make me happy first. I am the only one in the end that can make things happen, and dream big after all.